How to sort through the many voices in your head!
If you, like me, have been tortured in the night by the numerous voices that plague your brain with the various angles, perspectives, opinions and options that you should take when facing uncertainty in a relationship with someone you love or deeply care about.
Well then you know the twisting pangs of anxiety, the sometimes sleepless nights and the distraction from your work and other areas of life, that these reactions can sometimes bring along with them.
The intensity of these emotional responses can certainly present themselves at a lower pace than I have described and still the impact they has, leaves you feeling tired, confused and less present with yourself or others than you would like to be.
What I hope to share with you here is my perspective on what may be happening when you feel confused and in inner turmoil by taking you through the first step towards finding clarity an integration. I often take myself (and my clients) through this process of offering compassionate recognition to the care and wisdom that my inner turmoil stems from*.
Step 1:
Understanding what is actually going on / what is making you experience turmoil and confusion:
Confusion and turmoil are often experienced when we are unsure about a situation we find ourselves in.
There are often different voices trying to take care of us
Each voice seems to have an opposing message
These messages each carry a unique perspective
NONE of the perspectives are inherently right or wrong, each of them is caring for some of your core values and supporting you to make choices that feel in alignment with them.
The first step towards a more relaxed state when you are feeling this way, is to truly trust that each part of you is a crucial part of your internal system of selfcare.
I like to think of myself as a business (I truly honour the work of Olly Sheehan for this image). There is a business of EMMA that is constantly having meetings at the round table. Each part of me has a function or a role within the business, there is a safety department, a creative team, a director, a bunch of managers and many workers who each take care of different functions to ensure that the business of EMMA is performing well.
So simply understanding that I am confused because the business of me is busy having an internal meeting that is trying to support me, already enables me to slow down and start listening to my bodies responses.
How to actually integrate all these parts and update the system with a software and team of directors that actually help you to function in reality?
For that I recommend getting support, like every business, we are not made to do it all alone. Having a witness and a supportive empathic presence to be with me as I explore the best strategies for my inner business, has been the most healing step towards integration, self acceptance and true agency.