“ to connect in a way that makes natural giving possible”
These are the first words that Marshal Rosenberg says in this video of him giving a live workshop in San Francisco on Non- Violent Communication.
And a quote that was at the top of my website for many years:
'What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.'
And that is really what NVC is all about to me. How can I give myself to you from the heart? How can I receive you with compassion? How can we stay in this flow of giving and receiving together, without teetering into the abyss of expectations and demands that we make of ourselves and one another. And when we do go there, how can we stay with ourselves compassionately and welcome the humanness that we are, to unfold before us whilst staying steadfast in our intentions of making life more wonderful for all humans to live.
This video literally changed my life.. I notice that I feel embarrassed when writing that last sentence, because I really care for authenticity, honesty and being in reality together and I worry that you might think “yeah right.. everyone says that..”.. And yet it is true for me.
I remember the day that I watched this film. It was recommended to me by my Ex Partner (now dear friend) after an argument that was fracturing our relationship. We both wanted to find a way to connect and understand each other again, whilst feeling totally hopeless and lost in the stories that our minds were creating about one another.
So we watched this video together.
I remember watching with my mouth and eyes open, my heart so touched, and tears welling up in me, because I felt like Marshal was finally offering me a perspective on life that my heart had been yearning for, for so long without even knowing it.
I immediately knew that NVC would become a huge part of my journey and purpose and I subsequently started to look for NVC workshops and ways to dive in and learn more.
Almost 8 years later, the teachings of Marshal Rosenberg are no longer a philosophy or method that I use in order to communicate with more clarity, it has become a way of life for me, that I am continuously learning, growing and deepening into, humbled and honored by every layer of awareness and learning that I discover along the way.
I can see just how deeply this way of life has affected every corner of my being:
My friendships: I now bring myself fully into the relationship and include my needs too
My family: We are closer than ever, I see myself staying so much longer in connection when difficult moments arise and find that we are better equipped to move through tensions together.
My Relationship with myself: Speaking to myself compassionately has been the biggest game changer. Writing this newsletter and teaching NVC has only become possible, by learning to be compassionate with myself again, and again and again..
Whilst still being 100% human and messing up every step of the way!
The list of changes I would like to celebrate could take up 10 pages, so I leave you with just these 3, as a way of offering my immense gratitude to Marshal Rosenberg and all the trainers who I have learnt his teachings through over the past 8 years:
Yoram Mosenzon, Sarah Peyton, Tracey Seed, Robert Kržišnik, Rober Gonzalez, Kathleen Macferren, Marry Mckenzie and so so many more…
I truly thank each of you from the center of my heart, for how much this language of life has touched me in ways that I would never have imagined. It has become a spiritual pathway into mindfulness and slowing down, a source of connection to my body, a way in to soothing my inner child, a tool for loving conflict, a possibility to transcend guilt and stay connected, a doorway into a never ending moment of bliss, where vulnerability, openness play are all welcome as we hold each other.. a place where the deepest friendships have been forged and old relationships revived with love.
For this and so much more, I am so, so deeply grateful..
If you have been following me and are feeling inspired to join the worldwide NVC community and movement towards living life and relationships more fully:
Join us for upcoming workshops and a chance to really step into another way of being and living together in harmony.